If you are reviewing your relationship that ended one way that can be helpful is to recall if your former partner’s words matched their behavior. In other words were their words congruent with their actions. Sometimes we are taken in by the words that we want to hear and ignore the behavior that does not reflect the words. We cling to the words and dismiss the behavior. Words matter but they are little value if they do not match the behavior. To give a simple example, someone may say that they value the environment but then throw trash out of the car window. It is not congruent with their words. In other words the behavior does not reflect the words. In a relationships this may take the form of someone saying they love you, but on a regular basis say hurtful demeaning things to you. As honestly as you can review your ended relationship within this lens.