When A Relationship Ends

When a relationship ends it is often a time of major upheaval in one's life.  If you did not choose to end the relationship you may experience a range of feelings from sadness, a sense of worthlessness, to being overcome with anger and feeling revengeful.  If it was your choice to end the relationship you may feel feelings from relief to sadness and guilt to wondering if you did the right thing.  There is often a going back and playing and replaying scenes from the relationship in an attempt to understand what happened and if you can somehow change the outcome.  It is for most women an emotionally intense and exhausting time.  The emotions and stress of going through a breakup frequently also manifested themselves physically.  It is not unusual to lose or gain weight, to have trouble falling or staying asleep or you may find yourself sleeping for hours.  You may feel any effort to move is exhausting.  To do the dishes would be take an overwhelming effort.  And you can physically hurt in your body.  It is said that our bodies store and express emotions, even those we do not want to remember and acknowledge.   In the beginning it feels like this time will never end and the hurt will never leave, but eventually it does.  I think that it is important to recognize that in the beginning of this transition it is a time of loss and mourning. Women tend to go through this rather they were left or did the leaving.  So it is a time to be kind and gentle with yourself.  It is a time to give yourself the gift of time to honor how you need to acknowledge the loss and mourn. While there is no one way to do this what follows is how some women have mourn the loss and began to move forward.  Many women seek the company of friends who will listen and support them.  Journaling can be a way to express one's feelings and thoughts and often the very act of writing is cathartic.  Pursuing drawing, painting, sculpting, dancing, or any of the expressive arts can be very helpful.  Joining a yoga or mediation class can be healing. Spending time with a pet can be a comfort.  Surrounding yourself with objects that are meaningful can be a comfort and be a reminder of what brings a smile or joy.  Beginning therapy can also be very helpful in the mourning and healing process.  In the beginning of a loss try to remember to be kind and gentle with yourself.  It does not last forever and on the other side is promise.